Anna, 42, mother of two and an executive. She forgets appointments, procrastinates, feels overstimulated – and secretly wonders why everyone else seems to handle life better. The answer comes in her mid-40s: ADHD. And she’s not alone. ADHD in women is often overlooked – and even more often misunderstood.
Difficulty concentrating. Chronic lateness. Mental chaos. Always too much – and never enough. Many women believe they’re simply disorganized or not resilient enough.
“I always thought I was just too much.” Theresa Härter is a founder of a consulting firm specializing in gender-specific health – and has ADHD herself. For a long time, she didn’t understand herself. Today, she helps others do just that: understand themselves. She talks to Belle&Yell about how ADHD manifests in women and why many only receive a diagnosis in their 30s, during motherhood, or even later – in menopause. And why ADHD isn’t a flaw but simply a different operating system.
Not just a kids' issue – and not a male problem
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It’s most commonly associated with the image of a restless little boy who can’t sit still, the so called “Zappelphilipp”.
Theresa laughs – because that’s exactly how she wasn’t.
“I wasn’t hyperactive – that only came during puberty – but I was very talkative, unfocused, extremely easily distracted, and dreamy. You could have noticed it. But I wasn’t a ‘Philip’, I was a Theresa. My gender was the problem.”
In women, other symptoms often take center stage. They daydream, zone out, seem quiet – and are therefore not recognized. “ADHD in women often turns inward,” Theresa explains. “The chaos happens in the mind. But it’s real – and exhausting.”
Many people with ADHD also struggle with co-existing conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or burnout. This not only complicates diagnosis – but also makes treatment more challenging.
Hormonal rollercoasters and diagnosis shock
Theresa noticed from a young age — especially during puberty — that she functioned differently. As a young adult, she experienced her first stress-related crisis: an overloaded schedule of full-time work, dual university studies, private challenges, and a pile of side projects. Dancing at a wedding? Boring. A typical ADHD pattern: starting too many things at once and trying to juggle everything at the same time.
During a psychology lecture, she first came across the condition. But in 2015, prejudice and stigma were still too strong — she quickly dismissed the idea that she might be affected herself. Later, as a leader in her field, she came close to burnout again: “I was constantly running on high speed, emotionally overwhelmed, and torn inside — and no one noticed. Because I was so good at masking it.” Only through reading, social media, and reflecting on her own symptoms did she finally recognize: This is ADHD. And no — it’s not imagined.
“ADHD is measurable on a neurobiological level. It’s about dopamine and norepinephrine — and in our case, those aren’t always available where and when we need them.” Especially challenging: symptoms fluctuate with hormonal cycles. And during menopause, everything can hit at once. “When estrogen drops, dopamine also decreases – and suddenly the symptoms become more intense than ever.”
From liberation to superpowers
“When you’ve spent 30 years thinking you’re just not right in the head – and someone tells you: you just function differently – that changes everything.” Theresa describes that moment as a gamechanger. For herself, and for the many women who approach her after a talk or a coaching session. “I tell them: you’re not broken. You simply have a different operating system. And it can do amazing things – once you understand it.”
ADHD isn’t just exhausting – it can also be a strength. Theresa calls it “a creative explosion.” Many ideas, fast associations, high energy. “Many entrepreneurs and elite athletes have ADHD. We think in networks, act quickly – but we need structure to channel it.” That structure might come from routines, tools, coaching, therapy, or even medication. The key: approach it individually. ADHD isn’t a superpower guarantee – but it is a different way of thinking and feeling, full of potential.
When the pen on the desk is slightly crooked
“In major crises, we’re great,” says Theresa. “That’s when our system kicks in — because dopamine levels usually rise too. But if the tech glitches or the pen is out of place, we can totally lose it.” She describes this ambivalence with a wink — and a lot of self-compassion. “Our brain is either overstimulated or understimulated — there’s rarely an in-between, and that’s what makes it so exhausting.”
Going for a walk, getting enough sleep, sport, journaling – these are classic coping strategies, tools for managing inner restlessness. Coping means having a toolkit you can draw from flexibly. “Many ADHDers just want peace of mind – and end up binge-watching or eating to cope. That might help in the short term, but it can become harmful in the long run.” Theresa recommends balance: structure, yes, but not rigid routines. “We need variety – even in stress relief.”
Goodbye to the feeling of being ‘wrong’
Theresa’s most important message: ADHD is not a shameful condition. It’s simply another way of thinking. And if you learn to work with it, you can achieve great things. “I started a business. I’m not perfect – but I’m powerful. I have a wall filled with my successes. It’s not there to brag – it’s there to remind me what I’m capable of.”
And if others only see chaos again? “Just remember: you see your superpowers. And that’s enough.”
Diagnostic note
Important: Even if many women recognize themselves on social media – a reliable ADHD diagnosis can only be made by qualified professionals. This includes in-depth interviews, reviewing childhood symptoms, and ruling out other causes. ADHD isn’t just a TikTok trend – it’s a complex neurobiological condition.
ADHD in women – what you should know
📌 What is ADHD?
A neurodevelopmental condition involving dysregulation of neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine.
📌 Why is ADHD in women often missed?
Because it presents differently: less visible hyperactivity, more internal restlessness and daydreaming. Many women mask their symptoms for years.
📌 Typical symptoms (often only emerging in adulthood):
Mental chaos, trouble concentrating, impulsivity, emotional overload, mood swings, perfectionism, self-doubt, feeling overwhelmed despite being capable.
📌 Hormonal influences:
Symptoms may fluctuate with menstrual cycles, pregnancy, or menopause. Estrogen shifts affect dopamine availability.
📌 What helps?
Therapy, coaching, physical activity, routines, nutrition, micronutrients – and if needed, medication. Always tailored to the individual.
Checklist: COULD I have ADHD?
🔄 Do you often feel mentally restless or flooded with thoughts?
📅 Do you struggle to organize tasks or keep track of appointments?
🎯 Do you easily lose focus – even on important tasks?
🧩 Do you have many ideas, but trouble executing them?
🚪 Do you sometimes overreact to small things – like technical hiccups?
💬 Were you described as “too lively” or “lost in thought” as a child?
💥 Do you feel overwhelmed by daily life, even when everything’s under control?
🧠 Do others seem to go through life more easily than you?
If you answered yes to several of these – especially if the symptoms impact your life – it’s worth speaking to a specialist with ADHD experience.
About Theresa Härter
Theresa Härter is a business psychologist and the founder of WORK BODY MIND, a consulting firm focused on corporate mental health and gender-specific, neuroinclusive health strategies. As a trainer, speaker, and psychological advisor, her work centers around raising awareness and education on women’s health, neurodivergence, and mental well-being — as well as helping companies build inclusive health structures. Based in the German-speaking region, she passionately advocates for bringing ADHD, mental health, and women’s health out of the shadows and breaking the stigma around them.
