Girls are good at languages, boys can do technology. Many girls start to doubt their abilities as early as the age of five – not because they are less talented, but because they already set themselves limits through stereotypical role models. Ewa Röhr and Julia Schümann, parents of a girl and a boy, disagree.
How stereotypical role models shatter children's dreams
It starts early. Many girls start questioning their dreams as early as the age of five. President? Engineer? Astronaut? What initially sounds like a child’s fantasy becomes increasingly unlikely at this age. The reason: stereotypes that – often unconsciously – set limits. This mechanism has a name: Dream Gap.
Ewa and Julia, a couple and mothers of a boy and a girl, experience this reality on a daily basis. “Our daughter recently came home from school very depressed because she wasn’t allowed to play soccer with the boys – just because she’s a girl,” reports Julia, who is also an expert in gender design. “As parents, we have a duty to compensate for such experiences and encourage her.”
But the problem is deeply rooted. Children are forced into rigid role models at an early age – and these are often gender-based. “Even in kindergarten, there’s a building corner for the boys and a doll corner for the girls,” criticizes Ewa. “That shapes and restricts.” Studies confirm that girls start to evaluate their abilities differently to boys from the age of five. They are less likely to believe that they are “intelligent enough” for demanding professions.
A question of conditioning
What Ewa and Julia describe are everyday experiences which often happen unconsciously. It’s the little things: Knights and superheroes on the boys’ T-shirts, princesses on the girls’ T-shirts. “The omnipresent explicit connotated design shows how products and messages are structurally exclusive,” explains Julia. “Children grow up in a world that tells them: this is for you, and this is not.”
The aim of the two mothers is to give their children the freedom to develop beyond such norms. An evening ritual is designed to help with this. Every evening, they ask their children two questions: “Who is the most important person in your life?” and “What can you become?” Their kids answer: “Myself” and “Anything I want.”
Boys also suffer from role stereotypes
But it’s not just girls who struggle with the narrow boundaries of gender roles. Boys are also constrained by expectations which emphasize strength and assertiveness, but see sensitivity or restraint as weakness. “Our son is sensitive, and we encourage him to be that way,” says Ewa. “He should also feel free to be himself.”
Ewa and Julia also took a close look at the materials shaping their children. They rummaged through children’s books and toys to see how strongly stereotypes are anchored in supposedly harmless products. “There were books that didn’t feature a single female tractor driver,” reports Julia. “Such messages have a subtle but lasting effect.”
More courage to change
Ewa and Julia see their role as role models and trailblazers. Their message: “We have to be courageous and encourage children to grow beyond these barriers.” They talk about this not only among their friends, but also publicly – in their own podcast “We are BOLD” (German).
The Dream Gap may be deeply rooted, but it is not immutable. It starts with small rituals and new perspectives. “If we educate our children to believe in themselves, we have already achieved a lot,” says Julia. “The world doesn’t change by itself – but we can make it better.” For example, through conscious language: “So it’s not that women can become astronauts, but that women are astronauts.”
In this sense: women are scientists, women are engineers, women are entrepreneurs, women are presidents…and little girls dream big if we encourage them to do so.
About Ewa and Julia: Both work together as independent entrepreneurs in the fields of brand design, visibility and inclusion. They have two children, a girl and a boy. With their new podcast “We are BOLD” (German), they want to inspire women to break out of rigid structures and role models, to find themselves and to live their own lives in a self-determined way.
Dream Gap
The term Dream Gap describes the gap between girls’ dreams and ambitions and their self-perception, which prevents them from pursuing them. From around the age of five, many girls begin to doubt their abilities – an effect that can be attributed to gender-based stereotypes and social norms. Studies in developmental psychology, for example by Dr. Andrei Cimpian and Dr. Lin Bian, show that girls are less likely than boys to use terms such as “brilliant” or “very smart” to describe themselves. This reduces their willingness to engage in STEM subjects or other challenging areas. This stereotypical view of their own abilities, learned at an early age, is reinforced by toys, media, language and education and has a lasting impact on their self-perception.
Gender design
Gender design is concerned with the conscious design of products, spaces, media and messages in order to question and break down gender-specific stereotypes. It aims to create designs that do not exclude anyone on the basis of gender or force them into gender stereotypes.
One example: razors for women are often pink and floral in design, while the male version appears dark and technical – even though both fulfill identical functions. Gender design questions such conventions and focuses on neutral or diverse approaches that do equal justice to all people. The aim is to promote an inclusive, open society in which design does not set boundaries, but rather opens up possibilities.
