What happens when you put two women in a room who aren’t afraid to talk about awkward topics? Exactly: it gets exciting, liberating – and refreshingly unapologetic.
Sandra Baron and Tina Holmes call themselves the TabooTalker. They talk about everything people usually avoid: sex, shame, hormone chaos. And why that’s not an act of courage – but simple common sense. In this Belle&Yell interview, they explain why female taboos are dangerous, how they shape our self-image – and why shame is a tool of power we need to disarm.
Tabooed, shamed, silenced
The list of female taboos is long: menstruation, sexuality, menopause, self-doubt. What they all have in common? They’re often kept quiet – out of shame, fear of rejection, or simply because we never learned how to talk about them. “We were socialized to make ourselves smaller – physically, verbally, vocally,” says Tina Holmes. The result: women stay quiet. And often feel alone with their questions, struggles, and desires.
And the silence starts early. “Even in sex education, there’s barely any real conversation – and if there is, it’s often about outdated and loaded terms,” says Tina. For instance, in German, the vulva is still commonly called by a term that translates as “shameful parts.” A name that shames women’s bodies by default. Let’s stop using it – and start calling it what it is: a vulva.
Shame as a system error
Shame, Sandra argues, is a tool of power – and part of a bigger problem: patriarchy. “Historically, women have been pushed out of powerful roles – even though when it comes to giving birth, they are in the most powerful role imaginable.” The female body: political from the start, regulated from the start.
But shame can also be a source of strength – if you face it. If you speak out. That’s why Sandra and Tina created the TabooTalks – intimate, empowering conversations among women, where no topic is too much.
What happens when we speak?
“I was afraid to join the group – but even more afraid not to,” one participant shared. The experience: once someone breaks the silence, others want to follow. And suddenly, it’s not taboo anymore – it’s solidarity.
These talks create space to breathe. To ask. To let go. And to unlearn. “Many women only realize with us that they’ve been ashamed of things that are completely normal – and that they’re not alone,” says Tina.
Taboos? Let’s talk about them!
What are taboos – and why do they often target women?
Definition:
Taboos are society’s invisible stop signs – unspoken rules that label certain topics as shameful, inappropriate or “too much.” Most of us follow them without ever asking why.
Typical female taboos:
- Menstruation & cycles
- Desire & sexuality
- Body changes (childbirth, aging, weight)
- Menopause & hormones
- Miscarriage, infertility, mental health
- Power, money & ambition
Why taboos are harmful:
- They fuel shame and silence
- They block honest conversations
- They isolate – especially women
- They undermine women’s agency – emotionally, socially, economically
How to break them:
- Speak up. Loudly. No more whispering about tampons, desire, or ambition.
- Create spaces where anything can be said – without judgment.
- Highlight role models who confront taboos – and inspire others to do the same.
- Change the language. In German, for example, the vulva is still referred to by a term that translates to “shameful parts.” Let’s stop using that. It’s a vulva. Period.
🎧 The interview with Sandra Baron and Tina Holmes is available in the Belle&Yell video podcast. Listen in. Join the conversation. Get started.
The power of being unapologetic
“Shame can liberate – once you dissolve it,” says Sandra. And she encourages us to move through the world unapologetically. Not out of disrespect, but out of self-respect. Because if you’re constantly afraid of being too loud, too emotional, too direct – you keep yourself small.
Being unapologetic means: “I’m allowed to.” I’m allowed to talk about my sexuality. I’m allowed to say in a meeting that I’m going through menopause. I’m allowed to pull a tampon out of my bag – without blushing. I’m allowed to be myself.
And what about men?
Men suffer from taboos too – just different ones. The role of the “strong man” is just as limiting as that of the “quiet woman.” “Men are our next target group,” says Tina. “They also need spaces where they can talk about emotions, fatherhood, sexuality – without being judged.”
Taboos aren’t just a women’s issue. They’re a societal issue. And solving them requires everyone.
What can we do?
Sandra and Tina call for: more role models. More visibility. And more courage to say the uncomfortable things. Whether it’s at work (“Why aren’t there free tampons here?”), with friends, or inside our own heads.
And companies? They can start by showing new images. Not just portraying women as consumers of vaginal cream and anti-aging serum – but as what they really are: powerful, wise, beautiful – at every age.
Conclusion: The taboo talk starts with you
Sandra says: “Where the fear is greatest, the reward is too.” Breaking taboos may cause discomfort – but it also gives you power. And when you speak up, you clear the path for others.
So go on: be unapologetic. And talk about it.
About Sandra Baron & Tina Holmes
Sandra Baron is an executive coach and advocate for female entrepreneurship. She helps women become visible and impactful – with clarity and confidence.
Tina Holmes is an interim manager and leadership coach. She brings taboo topics into conversations – directly, bravely, and on equal footing.
Together, they are the TabooTalker – creating spaces where shame turns into strength and silence into solidarity. In their sessions, talks, and coaching sessions, they help women talk freely about sexuality, menopause, and careers and free themselves from social taboos – loudly, bravely, and unapologetically.
